Ok.. by now you are really currious what I have to say now... You know that I come up with some really odd quests to get out the stuff that is in my head.. but this one is really relevant to anyone dating anyone.. infact anyone who is even talking to another human being..
Ok.. by now you are really confused.. let me start at the begining...
Back in the begining.. Man did things. God caused the world to be broked up and the people to be devided. To make sure that they would have a hard time rejoining.. He gave them all a different Language. Each country had its own Language.. thus resulting in it's own dictonary... Following me so far?
I feel that this break up goes further. Infact I am sure of it. I have had more fights with people over symantics then any other reason. I say a perfectly sane and reasonable statement or question and my partner takes it all out of context.
The other thing I have noticed is when I ask a question... my partner ( I refer to any one I am talking to as my partner..it could be my mom.. my husband... my friend.. or you) doesn't understand the context in which it was asked. Quite often I will ask "Do you Love me?" My answer is most often "yes". What I really mean when I ask that question is please validate why you love me.. and that you still continue to do so.. not just do you. I really want to hear.. "You mean the world to me.. I couldn't live with out you.. You are so awsome..." or something similar. Not just yes. I can get my cat to say yes. It really doesn't mean anything when you just say yes.
Another thing I have heard my self say.. and not gotten the right answer because we don't communicate properly is "You don't love me " My responce from that is usally "yes I do!" What I am trying to say is that I am feeling very little love comming from you. You are doing a poor job expressing the fact that you love me.. Please validate that you do. At this point I am also expecting to hear "You mean the world to me.. I couldn't live with out you.. You are so awsome...".. but it rarely happens.
Another huge area of contention between me and mine.. is comming home on time.. Glenn is the worst underestermater of time in the history of human kind. He used to live 45 minutes away from me. He would often call and say he was comming right over after he did a few things. Then he would say.."I will be right over in a few minutes." That would be impossible. It took him for ever to understand that. Then when we got married.. He traveled in his work. He told me that the end of his day was a 5pm and he would be home at 5:30. I don't think he has ever come home at 5:30. He traveled all over the state.. he would be hours away from me.. and not finish work untill 6 or 7. He wouldn't bother to call me to tell me he was going to be late. We had more arguements about this until he realized I was worried about him.. and not knowing if he was dead on the side of the road did horrible things to me. I was also unemployed at the time.. so I had all the time in the world to worry. He thought I wanted to keep a leash on him. He is now better at calling.. although he doesn't call untill 6 or 7.. at which point he is already late and if for some reason I cooked him a steak (which I don't do any more cause I had to throw away too many cause they were tough from his not comming home.. it is Murphy's Law in this house.. if I have steak.. there will be no Glenn!!!), it is ruined! I have learned to cope with that.. but it took along time.
So what I am saying is.. It would be nice if when some one said something it was understood in the way it was said, and why it was said. I also can't count the times a joke was taken seriously or a serious statement was taken as a joke, causing tention. If we all had the same dictionary in our brains, it would be easier to communicate. Next time you have a big fight with your partner, realize that they probably ment what they said.. but not how you understood it.