- You have to constantly remind your people to feed you. This is especially true in the morning when they first get up. They would forget you if you don't climb up their bathrobes.
- If you are too lazy to walk around the house to find them, simply stay put and cry really loud. They will call to you. If you are really lazy, keep crying till they come get you.
- If there is a box open, the cat belongs in it. It doesn't matter the size. You have to get in it. (this is true, I got a celular phone and Em tried to get in it. -cesg)
- A flash of light, ie a flash light or a reflection off a watch face, is an intruder. It must be gotten at all costs. Jump up the wall if you have to.
- The vacuum is the agent of the D.O.G.. If you see it, Run and hide. A really good place I have learned from the other cat Tigger that used to share my house, is under the covers in the people's bed. The more covers you get under the safer you are.
The rules of etiquette for inexperienced cats.
Rules to live by for up-and-coming felines:
If you have to throw up, get into a chair quickly. If you cannot
manage
this in time, get to an oriental rug. Shag is good.
Determine quickly which guest hates cats. Sit on that lap during the
evening. He won't dare push you off and will even call you "nice
kitty." If you can arrange to have cat food on your breath, so much the better.
For sitting on laps or rubbing against trouser legs, select colors
which
contrast with your own.
Always accompany guests to the bathroom. It is not necessary to do
anything. Just sit and stare.
For guests who say, "I love kitties",be ready with aloof distain, claws
applied to stockings or a quick nip to the ankles.
Do not allow closed doors in any room. To get one open, stand on hind
legs and hammer with forepaws. Once the door is open for you, it is not
necessary to use it. You can change your mind. When you have ordered
an
outside door opened, stand half in and half out and think about several
things. This is particularly important during very cold weather or
mosquito season.
If one person in busy and the other is idle, sit with the busy one.
For
book readers, get in close under the chin, unless you can lie across the
book itself.
For ladies knitting, curl quietly into lap and pretend to doze. Then
reach out and slap knitting needles sharply. This is what she calls a
dropped stich. She will try to distract you. Ignore it.
For people doing homework, sit on the paper being worked on. After
being
removed for the second time, push anything movable off the table - pens,
pencils, stamps - one at a time.
Get enough sleep during the daytime so that you are fresh for playing
at
night between 2 and 4 am
-the New York Times.
"l,. edrm"
Hi This is Cesg. Em's person. Since Em isn't fully funtional on a keyboard as you can see from above, I will have to tell her story for her.
She wants you to know that she approves of this list. She says that there are a few missisng.
Tigger was a good kitty. He was rescued from the animal shelter back in 1990. He, unfortunaly, was an outside cat untill the end last year. Mom told me that he was almost feral when she got him. He WANTED to go out, but needed the door open the first few times from fear of abandonment. She tried not to let him out at all, but he was very unhappy. She says that before me, they used to play tag, which seems very unlike dignified cat I knew. He dissappeard last November. Mom misses him very much, but I am glad to have the run of the house. I never did like him much. I guess he couldn't forgive me for trying to nurse on him when I was younger.
Mom says I look alot like him. Almost enough to be brothers.
I think she is blind. I am a black and grey tiger with a sand colored belly, and Tigger was a black and grey tiger cat with a
grey belly. Mom says he was very soft and would go catatonic
in your arms if you patted under his chin. I wouldn't care.
Mom also says I walk around with my tail in a ? shape because it
explains my personality exactly... I think it is just really cool
looking.
